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average white par

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average white par last won the day on July 25 2019

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  1. average white par

    So where do we go from here?

    "enough to keep the pot boiling around the clock, just to mix metaphors" GG Riva descends into Metaphor Hell... SCENE - METAPHOR HELL METAPHOR SATAN - "You again?" GG - "Oh sod off...the ball has been down this court before and I can already see light at the end of the tunnel..." MS - "DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT SON! At least I knew enough to realise that the alligators were in the swamp and it was time to circle the wagons!" GG - "Ye Gods, Satan! I, sir, smell a rat... I see him darkening the sky , but I'll jolly well nip him in the bud!" MA - "You dare to walk into the bowels of the armpit of this cesspool and challenge me? Remember, you are alone in this noisy hive, with no place to roost..." GG - "Well, that's awfully thin gruel to hang my hat on sir, and leaves somewhat of a sour taste in my eye..." MA - "Begone from this place, it is not your time... yet... I worry that one day you may open that Pandora's Box and find it full of Trojan Horses... I hope not..." GG - "Nor do I.. it would be somewhat akin to deja vu, all over again..." MA - "Then go.... now... and remember... a take is better than two shall have in the moss..." GG - Buggers off Sorry, it's been one of those days...
  2. average white par

    Old Turkish Proverb

    I blame the breakfast grappa myself...
  3. average white par

    The Music Press

    This might be a generational thing, but I really miss the "serious" music newspapers... I long for the days when I could nip down to John Menzies and get a fresh copy of "Sounds" or "Melody Maker" or (God forbid), the "New Musical Express" and leafing merrily through it's finger-blackening pages to further increase my vast knowledge of utterly useless music trivia... Being a forward thinking type of person I also invested my meagre earnings in a subscription to the new fangled ("Kerrang!") magazine, a truly groudbreaking publication, conveniently aimed at patchouli-sodden, long haired, denim clad, Marillion loving pathetic individuals like myself... Since the unfortunate demise of "Sounds", I took "Melody Maker" for a while, but now there seems to be no more specialist newspapers anymore, which is a shame... I understand that "times have moved oan ya slavering hoor etc", but I'm not really finding anything online that's that interesting either... Youse?
  4. average white par

    Iconic album covers

    The first person to post "Abbey Road" will be shot at dawn.... Here's some crackers to get started...
  5. average white par

    Climate Change Protesters

    I've been lucky enough to spend quite a bit of time around Native American people, and , reading this thread, I was reminded of this little pearl of wisdom, which is a very old Cree prophecy... When all the trees have been cut down When all the animals have been hunted When all the waters are polluted When all the air is unsafe to breathe Only then will you discover you cannot eat money Simplistic? Possibly.. True and incisive and pertinent? Absolutely...
  6. average white par

    Climate Change Protesters

    "The planet will do just fine whatever happens" Very much this... the human race will soon discover that no player is bigger than the club... Hopefully I won't be around to see it...
  7. average white par

    Photo of the week

    Oh yeah... pick that one out of the net...
  8. average white par

    Fed up with Glastonbury?

    That's a very good point actually... definitely one of the Joneses that you really don't want to keep up with...
  9. average white par

    Fed up with Glastonbury?

    I love Grace, and I've pulled up to the bumper baby many a time... however, despite your Grace Joneses, Tom Joneses and even Davy Joneses, there is still only one king... "THE LOOOVE BOAT, SOON WE'LL BE MAKING ANOTHER RUN..."
  10. average white par

    Opening fixtures.....

    Do you guys have a bit of an occasional thing going on like...?
  11. average white par

    New strips

    Also, does anyone else think that Murray is holding a half smoked spliff in his right hand? This may be my "Specsavers" moment, I fear...
  12. average white par

    New strips

    I quite like the home one actually, and the badge thing isn't a big deal imo, a wee arty farty touch which is quite cool... Away strip.... let's just say it has a unique style and a singular charisma...
  13. average white par

    Playing squad 2019/20

    Yet again, the Craw totally outshines his new signing with a mind boggling display of style, panache, sartorial elegance and a humbling lesson in male grooming techniques, reminding us all (lest we forget) that naebody's as braw as the Craw...
  14. average white par

    Players put through their paces today

    ^^ I noticed this myself... looks like the work of giant killer ants to me, Vince...
  15. average white par

    In The Summertime

    "I'm away on holiday on Sat and will be working to raise the height of my frogeye..." Aye well, I'm also away on holiday on Sat and will be working to raise the height of my Japs eye... each to their own, I suppose...